Unleashing Hound Page 13
Hound had his back to us and didn’t say anything, which was disappointing because I really wished he would. Before we ran into Toby, I would have sworn Hound was into me, but now, I wasn’t so sure. If he was interested, the man didn’t have a jealous bone in his body.
Toby’s appearance had shifted something between me and Hound. His endorsement of my old friend had been a major blow to my ego, but what happened afterwards hurt even more. Hound, who used to be all up in my business, had suddenly stopped trying to dive into my past like it was buffet of his favorite foods. Don’t get me wrong, he was still kind and polite, making sure I ate and giving me his full attention whenever I talked, but the way he looked at me was different.
Less intense. Less interested.
Hound’s attention had made me feel seen and valued.
Now that he’d withdrawn it, I felt even more hollow and lonely than before.
Focusing back on Levi and the subject at hand, I replied, “Sounds like maybe you should date Toby.”
“Never been into hot dogs, Meals. I’m all about the taco.”
“Gross.” I winced. “Thanks for the visual.”
He chuckled. “Well, if you do decide to go out to lunch with Mr. Goody-two-shoes, I won’t be going with you. I’m way too far behind on my work. But I don’t want you going alone. Take Hound.”
I watched Hound’s back, silently begging him to react, but he kept typing away without so much as a pause. “Okay. What about Billy the Bastard? Did you find anything on him?”
“Nope. Unless he somehow sneaked over the border, he couldn’t have physically killed Polly or Rishi. Because of his court case, his passport has been flagged, and he’s not legally going anywhere. He could have still paid someone to do the deed, so we’re looking for an unexplainable payment leaving his bank account, but he has a lot of accounts and spends money like it’s going out of style.”
Levi was doing everything possible, but we’d made no ground at all. By the time five p.m. rolled around, I was ready to get the hell out of the office. I don’t know why. It’s not like I had anywhere to go or anything to do. I felt like I just needed a break from my cousin before I strangled him with his own accusations.
After logging off his computer, Hound stopped by Levi’s desk. “Hey boss, you need anything before I head out?”
Levi glanced up from his screen long enough to shake his head. “Nah, brother. Thanks for all your help this week. I’ll see you at church.”
Hound nodded at me. “Night, Mila.”
That was it. No request to hang out, no offer to walk me up to my room, no reminder about dinner, nothing. The asshole was giving me the cold shoulder. As soon as the door closed behind him, I turned on Levi, desperate for answers.
“Does he seem like he’s acting strange to you?”
Not even bothering to look up, Levi asked, “Toby? Meals, we already went over this.”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “No, Hound.”
Levi’s eyebrows rose as he looked from me to the door Hound had just left through. Concern creased his forehead. “Strange how?”
“I don’t know. He usually hangs out and talks or walks me upstairs or something, but tonight it’s like he couldn’t get out of here fast enough. And he’s been avoiding me all week.”
Levi took off his glasses and rubbed his face. “I don’t know. Maybe listening to you accuse an old friend of murder has made him rethink his relationship with you.”
That answer bothered me way more than I cared to admit. “Fair enough.”
“Seriously, though, you and Hound have been hanging out?”
“Yeah.”
Levi scratched his chin. “Hm. I didn’t realize you two had been spending so much time together.”
“He’s a cool guy,” I defended. “Or he was before we ran into Toby. Now, Hound’s just… quiet.”
“He’s always been quiet.”
Sometimes Levi made me want to bash my head against a wall. “Not when he’s with me. We talk a lot.”
Levi gave me an indecipherable look before sliding his glasses back on.
“It’s not like I’m attracted to Hound.” As soon as the denial left my mouth, I knew it was a lie. Hound was a good-looking guy. Okay, good-looking was an inadequate term when it came to him. He had the most amazing eyes, full of pain, life, and the tiniest spark of hope. At the risk of sounding like an imbecile, I could stare into those eyes for days. They were just so captivating. Despite his injury, he was in excellent physical shape. The tight, short-sleeved T-shirts he wore on weekends showcased his muscular biceps and stretched across a chest I’d love to run my tongue across. Sure, I’d fantasized about having his muscular body wrapped around me, but what woman wouldn’t? He was gorgeous.
More than his appearance, his personality attracted me. He actually seemed to care about people. He’d fed me, listened to me, encouraged me, and I’d never heard him say a judgmental word about anyone other than himself. “He’s a nice guy, and in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t exactly have many friends here.”
“Whose fault is that?” Levi asked, rolling his chair back to stand and stretch.
“Nobody’s. It’s a necessary evil. I’m not planning to be here long enough to make friends.”
He paused mid-side bend and stared at me. “You won’t be here long enough to make friends with the girls, but you’re upset about Hound brushing you off?”
Yes.
No.
God, that sounds crazy.
“I don’t think you’re really listening to me.”
“Sure I am, Meals, but I’m listening to what you mean, not just what you say.”
“No matter how smart you think you are, you can’t read my mind, Levi.” In all honesty, he’d pretty much hit the nail on the head, but my cousin was insufferable enough. He didn’t need any more ego stroking. “Forget I said anything. Let’s just focus on finding this killer, so I don’t get stuck here for the rest of my life.”
He draped an arm over my shoulder and gave me a squeeze. “Would that be so bad?”
I elbowed him in the side. “Yes.”
“Ouch. Shots fired. Here I thought I was growing on you.”
“Like a cyst.”
Chuckling, he shook his head. “I can’t believe they let you teach third graders. Those poor little kids. They probably need antidepressants after you rip into them.”
“I do not rip into my students. I bribe them, and they love me for it.”
“Do you like teaching?”
“Yeah. I really do. I was hoping not to have to renew my contract, though.”
Shifting to lean against his desk, he watched me. “Why not?”
“I became an escort to pay my university tuition.” Memories of my first time with Rishi floated through my mind. I could still recall the fear I felt as I closed the door and put myself at the mercy of a strange man who’d paid me for sex. It wasn’t like I had no other options—I did—but selling my body was the most lucrative, and I was desperate. “I studied successful nineteenth-century courtesans to build my business model.” Like me, courtesans were from meager backgrounds and had to elevate themselves. They had to ditch their country accents and learn how to be refined, classy women.
And if they were good enough, their lovers took care of all their financial needs.
“You’re a real entrepreneur, aren’t you?” Levi asked with a smile.
“What can I say? After having my heart ripped out of my chest and stomped on by Billy the Bastard, I was ready to extract some revenge. Besides, it was a show of freedom to be able to fuck whomever I wanted, whenever I wanted, reaping the benefits of their pocketbooks. Fancy dinners, lavish gifts, outlandish rates, you’d be amazed at the things men are willing to pay for in exchange for sex.”
Levi blinked. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”
I shrugged. “Once those bills were taken care of, I kept my side hustle going to save up enough money to move back to the states and ge
t away from that lifestyle completely.” I loved sex and all the benefits that came with the job, but about two months into the life—right as I was getting comfortable—a client took our play time a little too far. Ignoring my safe word, he slapped me around, busting my lip and bruising the hell out of my face and shoulder. Janae had blacklisted him, but she couldn’t undo the damage to my psyche. Realizing my safety wasn’t guaranteed, I drew up my exit plan that night. If I had stuck with it, I could have been out of the lifestyle years ago.
But I was my own most treacherous saboteur.
“How much of a nest egg are you lookin’ to raise?”
“Five hundred grand.”
He coughed. “Jesus, Meals. That’s not a nest egg, that’s a house. Maybe not in Seattle, but in most anywhere else in the country. Think you set the bar high enough to keep yourself from reaching it? Why not go for a mil?”
“You don’t understand what it was like. After growing up under the reverend’s thumb, Billy came along and took over the reins. He was amazing at first, and then… I had to depend on him for everything, and he used that against me. Once I got away from him, I… For the first time in my life, I’m living on my terms. My body. My bank account.”
Levi met my gaze. “Until some asshole stones you to death.”
His words hit me right in the gut, but I refused to flinch. “Every occupation has risks. And I’ve almost made my goal. Soon, I’ll be out for good.” Since I wanted Levi to take me seriously, I neglected to mention the self-sabotaging shopping sprees and non-essential expenses. It was better if he thought I was committed to change. “If I was home working, instead of here sitting on my ass, I’d hit my goal by the end of summer.”
“What happens now that you can’t work?” He asked.
“Hopefully we can find the killer before school starts, and I’ll try again next summer.”
“Why not just get out now?”
Since he clearly wasn’t listening, I broke it down for him again. “Because I haven’t reached my goal.”
“Bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
“That’s just an excuse. You don’t need five hundred grand to get out of Canada, Meals. You set a ridiculous number to keep yourself there.”
“Why would I do that?” I snapped back. “You think I want to be a whore for the rest of my life?”
He threw his hands up in defense. “I never called you that. I think your issues are a lot deeper than what you do with your body.”
That stung. “Don’t play like I’m the only one with issues.”
He smirked. “What’s wrong? Afraid you’ll have to figure out who the fuck you are and what you want from life? Scared to make friends and let people get close to you? Maybe even start a relationship? I think you’d rather take your chances with a murderer than actually trust someone.”
“Yeah? Well maybe that’s because I trust assholes. Like you.” I started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm and spun me back around to face him.
“You’re still so fuckin’ afraid of rejection you won’t let anyone see who you really are. You won’t even talk to the ol’ ladies.”
After running into Toby, I’d spent most of the weekend holed up in my room, familiarizing myself with the changes to the third-grade curriculum while avoiding Carly, Jessica, and the other ol’ ladies. The broad squad—as I’d nicknamed them—seemed nice enough, but couldn’t take the hint that I wasn’t looking for new besties. They’d been almost gangster in their pursuit of me, and I didn’t want any part of their little clique.
It wasn’t them; it was me. I wasn’t ready. Polly’s death felt a lot like getting a bad wax. I was in that numb stage, right after my body hair and skin follicles had been ripped from my body. The pain would get worse before it got better, and going in for another wax too soon would cause irreparable damage. A person could only take so much, and I was teetering on the edge of my breaking point.
“My best friend just died. Don’t I get some sort of mourning period before I have to endure that shit again?”
He threw his head back, chuckling. “You really believe friends are some sort of punishment you have to suffer through? No wonder you want Toby to be a psychopath. If he’s a killer, you don’t have to re-form a relationship with him.”
I’d had enough of being Levi’s punching bag and came up swinging. “What about you?” I asked. “You act like some sort of human psyche specialist, but you spend at least ninety percent of your time in front of a computer, and the other ten percent with your club. When was the last time you even went on a date?”
Expression hardened, he pushed away from his desk and headed for the door. “That’s none of your business, Meals. I have to go.”
“Oh hell no.” I hurried to cut off his escape. “You don’t get to go all Dr. Phil on me, and then disappear. No. You want to talk about my issues? Fine. Yes. You’re right. I fuck strangers because I like pretending to be whoever they want me to be. I’m afraid to stop, because I have no clue who I am, and that terrifies me. But I’m not the only one with problems. What happened to you in the Air Force? Why are you always working? What are you afraid of, cuz?”
For a moment, his mask slipped. His eyes filled with pain and regret, giving me a glimpse of the wounded man beneath. Then just like that, the mask popped back into place and his lips twisted into a scowl. “I have to go get ready for church.”
After shining a goddamn spotlight on every single one of my insecurities, he wasn’t even going to acknowledge his own. “Fuck you, Levi,” I spat.
“You know, you can only push people away for so long before they give up on you for good. Maybe that’s what happened between you and Hound. Maybe he’s sick of trying to care about someone who can’t seem to care about him back. Go make a friend, Meals. You need one.” He pushed past me and stormed out the door.
Levi was wrong. I didn’t need a friend. Hell, I didn’t need anyone. All I needed was to keep from going out of my goddamn mind until I could go home. I followed him out of his office and hurried down the hall. Voices were coming from the dining room, so I dove around the corner, avoiding the doorway. Someone was coming down the stairs, so I ducked behind the bar and waited for them to pass, feeling really fucking mature in my introverted antics.
While I waited, surrounded by bottles, I decided I needed a drink. Champagne was my poison of choice, but there was none in sight. Not surprising, considering this was a bar in a biker club. No doubt these guys preferred distilled motor oil or something equally as vile. Since good taste wasn’t an option, I settled on alcohol content, grabbing a bottle of Cazadores Tequila. My experience with tequila was limited at best, but the elk on the bottle looked harmless enough. The bottle didn’t have a price tag, but it couldn’t have been too expensive. I pulled two twenties out of my wallet and waited as the footfalls rounded the corner and faded away.
Bottle in hand, I stood and came face-to-face with a gorgeous black woman I’d never seen before.
“Mm-hm.” She gave me a disapproving stare down. “I thought I saw someone slip back here.”
Tucking the bottle closer to my body, I met her gaze. “I’m paying for it.” I plopped the cash on the bar.
She laughed. “Ease up there, Richie Rich. Nobody here is worried about your money.” Her gaze drifted over me. “You must be Mila.”
I eyed her, wondering who the hell had told her about me and what information they’d disclosed.
Her smile widened. “I’m Monica.”
Not to be intimidated, I smiled right back. “I haven’t seen you around. Are you new to the club?”
“No. Stocks and I run a halfway house, and it’s difficult to get away. My parents are in town, though, so I thought I’d come for the afterparty.”
“Afterparty?” That sounded terrifying.
“Yeah. After church, they usually have a party. Weren’t you here last Friday night?”
“I must have slept through it.” And I planned to sleep through this one, too. Even
if I had to drown myself in tequila.
“You know, after my accident, I tried to hide from them, too.” She held up her left arm, showing me that it was a prosthetic.
I knew which ‘them’ she referred to, but decided playing dumb was my best bet for getting out of this conversation. “Hide from whom?”
“That’s how you’re gonna play it?” She reached around to grab two beers from the fridge. Popping the caps off both, she tilted one toward me and said, “If they didn’t let me hide up in my room, your ass doesn’t have a chance. But good luck. Let me know how it goes for you.” With a wink, she turned on her heel and headed toward the kitchen.
I wondered if Levi had sent her to fuck with me, but didn’t have time to think about that.
With the threat of a party hanging in the air, I hightailed it upstairs.
14
Hound
MILA DIDN’T COME down for dinner. I wasn’t surprised at her absence, just disappointed. Considering everything the club was doing for her, I kept hoping she’d give them a chance. Regardless, I didn’t want her to go hungry, so after church, when everyone else hit the bar, I made her a plate and took it up to her room.
Knocking until she opened the door, I was surprised by the wide smile she greeted me with. She was still dressed in the white blouse and blue pants she’d been wearing before, but she looked rumpled. Her caramel locks were tousled, her green eyes were glassy, and she leaned heavily on the door as she studied the plate in my hand.
“Aww. You brought me food. You do care. Come on in.”
The way she slurred her words gave me pause. “Have you been drinking?”
She giggled—legit giggled—and it sounded borderline manic. I took a step back into the hall, but she released the door and sashayed across the floor to collapse on the loveseat. “I might have had a drink or two.”